The Comfort of Silence

Patiently wait for God alone, my soul! For he is the one who gives me hope. He alone is my protector and deliverer. He is my refuge; I will not be shaken.

-Psalm 62:5-6

This week has been a rough one. Between ministry responsibilities, COVID-19, parenting,  homemaking, homeschooling, and doing my own school work, by the time Thursday night rolled around, I was beside myself. I could not stop crying and I was emotionally, mentally, and spiritually spent. I sent a message to my instructors and told them that all my work for the week would be late--school was really the only area that had any give--I could survive if I didn't get the highest grade, but I was not going to last much longer if I did not take a break. Fortunately, my instructors understood and Friday I was able to refocus and rest. 

But, in reality, I never should have let myself get to that point of exhaustion. "He alone is my protector and deliverer. He is my refuge; I will not be shaken." But I was shaken. Why? Quite simply because I was not waiting on him--I was not seeking him with all my heart as I am supposed to. Instead, I was pouring myself out to everything around me and wound up completely empty--spent--done. It was actually to the point that after I messaged my instructors, I went to bed and fell right to sleep--but I woke up with swollen, red, and puffy eyes. I had cried the whole night as I slept. I had worn myself out to the point that even in rest, I was unable to rest. 

So, Friday I spent the day in renewal.

I spent more time than normal in God's word. I spent more time than normal in the silence--just waiting for him to speak. I spent time silently feasting on the love of God--and it was in that silence that comfort came. 

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When trials come, like the one we are currently dealing with--a global pandemic that has shut everything down--we try to distract ourselves. We fill our lives with tasks--both worthy and unworthy--but we avoid the silence and solitude. Why do we do this? Why do we try to distract ourselves from the opportunity to be comforted in silence with God? 

I have seen before and after pictures of homes during this pandemic--people have been remodeling their homes, their gardens, their wardrobes. Crafting has become a popular activity. People who wouldn't be caught dead doing outdoor activities have taken up hiking and fishing as though it was their favorite hobby--just to pass the time. But maybe, perhaps, we are not supposed to "just pass the time." Maybe, just maybe, God is desiring for us to take this forced time of solitude and enjoy the silence with him. To meditate upon his word and to refocus our lives on him.

Maybe instead of filling our lives with unnecessary past-times that will ultimately be left behind after everything reopens, we should be taking this opportunity to take part in a personal revival--a renewal of our relationship with God. A chance for us to learn his voice once again--because it won't be long before our lives become noisy again--and we need to re-learn how to hear his voice in the midst of the chaos of life.

So, I am saying this as much to myself as I am to everyone reading. Take this opportunity to find renewal in your relationship with God. Take comfort in the silence--because God is there just waiting for you to sit still long enough to be with him.