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Not your "typical" pastor's wife

I am not sure what your idea of a “typical pastor’s wife” is. Is a typical PW a woman who plays the piano? Does she serve in a specific department of the church? Does she homeschool her children? Honestly, I can assure you that there is no one mold for what a pastor’s wife looks like, but whatever your pre-determined expectations are of me, I can assure you I will not fulfill them.
My name is Nicole Barnett. I am a 27-year-old mom of three kids. I serve along-side my husband (who is the associate pastor of our church) in whatever capacity the church or my husband needs, but I am far from what you would call typical. While I have taken lessons as a child, I do not play the piano and it would probably take me several months to refresh myself on how to play.  While I have been in leadership in the Children’s department of the various churches I have attended, there is another lady in our church who is a lot more gifted in that department than I am. I have served on the worship team, but I most certainly do not have an angelic voice.
At home, I am not your typical pastor’s wife either. While my mother made sure I learned to mend and clean and cook, I find I have more important things to worry about than a spotless house. The parsonage walls, which were painted white, are now colorful with the doodles of my toddlers – paint will cover that. The floor is constantly cluttered with dolls, cars, and dinosaurs (not to mention the various baby equipment scatted throughout the house), and there is an Everest sized mountain of clothes down in the laundry room waiting to be washed. There are more important things than a spotless house.
My children will never believe that their childish coloring on the walls will cost them the love of their parents. The teens in our youth group, hopefully, will never feel that housework comes before them. I pray that the church never feels that my fitting a mold has gotten in the way of my husbands or my ability to be available to them. Instead, I hope that my not fitting into some pre-conceived box helps me make more of a difference.
One way I am not fitting the mold is that I too am becoming a pastor. I currently have my local ministers license and have begun schooling towards a degree in Christian Education. I am not content to just sit in the pew quietly and let the congregation tune out what the word of God says. My heart is to help other’s gain this uncontrolled hunger for the word of God. People who have grown up in the church do not even know the basic Bible stories. Adults who are expected to teach the children barely can navigate the Bible. Children, instead of being taught from the Bible, are taught stories with good morals. If we are the Body of Christ, we need to be sharing what God has said and done.

Nearly every Monday, I get on a live-streaming app and talk to people about God, life, ministry, and try to answer general questions. You can join me here as I continue to pursue the call of God on my life. 


  1. Sometimes I find it hillarious thinking of the roles that a pastors wife is expected to fill! I couldn't play the piano if my life depended on it. Also, one of the first things I told my congregation was that I was absolutely NOT called to childrens ministry, lol... which is funny- I do homeschool my children but do not feel comfortable leading others children! I feel called to Womens ministry, so I believe that we all have our specific callings! Praying for you and yours!


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